Your Secret Weapon in High-Stakes Leadership
As Fearless Female Leaders, we’ve fought hard to get where we are. We’ve broken through barriers, shattered glass ceilings, and earned our seat at the table. Sometimes there is an uncomfortable truth — once we’re at the table, the challenges don’t stop. High-stakes conversations, negotiations, and pivotal decision-making moments continue to test our resilience, confidence, and ability to lead under pressure.
One thing I’ve noticed in my work with executives across industries is this: Emotional agility is often the difference between a leader who influences with impact and one who struggles to get buy-in.
But what is emotional agility, and why is it crucial for us as women in leadership?
I spoke about this in a recent LinkedIn post, and so I wanted to continue the conversation.
Let’s break it down and explore how mastering emotional agility, especially when there is a lot at stake, can not only help to lead more effectively but also give us greater joy in the process.
Emotional Agility: The Key to Navigating Tough Conversations
Emotional agility is the ability to recognize, process, and respond to your emotions in a way that serves you, especially when the stakes are high. It’s not about pushing feelings aside or pretending they don’t exist — it’s about acknowledging them, understanding their impact, and deciding how to move forward strategically.
Here’s why this matters. High-stakes negotiations and emotionally charged conversations are inevitable at the top. Whether it’s asking for additional resources, pushing for a strategic shift, or navigating a tough boardroom discussion, our ability to handle these moments with grace, confidence, and clarity is critical.
The reality is, when emotions are triggered — whether it's stress, frustration, or doubt — we can’t show up as the best version of ourselves. We risk losing the impact we’ve worked so hard to build. But here’s the good news: Emotional agility is a skill, and like any skill, it can be developed with the right tools and strategies.
Be the Observer, not the Judge
One simple but powerful strategy I teach is being the observer, not the judge. It’s easy to self-label in moments of stress. “I am so frustrated.” “I am angry.” “I am not good enough.” These internal dialogues can sabotage confidence and our ability to lead with clarity and confidence.
Instead, try taking a step back and say, “I notice that I feel frustrated.” This small shift, from ‘I am’ to ‘I notice’ allows you to separate yourself from the emotion and observe it without judgment. When you do this, you can decide how to respond rather than react. This is a game-changer for high-stakes moments where your ability to stay calm, composed, and solution-focused is key.
Preparing for Success (and Surprises)
As women, we sometimes lean into over-preparing for worst-case scenarios. Don’t get me wrong — I’m all for being prepared, but if we focus too much on what could go wrong, we miss an important opportunity to prepare for success.
I call this 360-degree preparation. Yes, think through the challenges and potential obstacles, but also visualize the best-case scenario. How will you react if you get full buy-in? If your initiative is a go? If your bold request is met with excitement rather than hesitation?
This mindset shift keeps you open to positive outcomes and ensures you’re not caught off guard when things go better than expected (because they often do). The key is to be ready for any outcome — and respond with confidence and poise, no matter what.
Taking Action: Are You Ready for What’s Next?
If you’ve read this far, you may be thinking about what’s next in your career or leadership journey. Maybe it’s navigating a crucial conversation that’s been looming, asking for a much-deserved raise, or pushing a strategic initiative forward. Whatever it is, I encourage you to take the next step with intention and emotional agility.
The journey to becoming an even more impactful leader and having an even bigger voice with leadership starts with gaining clarity on how you want to show up, especially in the moments that matter most.
Whether you want to refine your negotiation skills, develop strategies for crucial conversations, or simply feel more confident when making an ask, I’d love to partner and support you.
If I can help you (or your team), let’s connect!
Cheering you on always,
Sheryl
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